I just got home because I had a late meeting up at the medical school.  Nothing makes you feel old and lazy like a room full of med students.

Jeff's birthday is this Thursday so I am going to post each day up to it about him.  Tonight's post is about one of my favorite of his qualities.  He is a wonderful parent.  I remember when we were dating I told him that single dads are hot.  Nothing sexier than seeing the squishy side of guy with his child.  And he loves kids.  You know those people, maybe you're one of them.  Although I have to be away sometimes frequently for work (like tonight) he always enjoys spending that time with one or both kids.  Jeff's specialty?  Craft projects and science experiments.  He makes them up, finds them on the internet or discovers them at craft stores.  We had brought the kids back geodes from Alaska.  After we cracked them open Jeff decided they need special display cases.  So he bought plain wooden boxes which the kids painted, glittered and lacquered.  Then he lined them with black velvet.  Voila, treasure boxes.  He took all of the extra crayons we get from eating out, shaved them down and  had the kids decorate wax paper.  Then he ironed them into sun catchers.  They also did the sun catcher kits I did as a child.  Last weekend they made beaded bracelets with their names in alphabet beads.  And this past weekend he found a kit that compliments their love of super balls.  They made their own power balls in molds out of powder, dipped them in water and after they dried they were off and bouncing.  Sometimes they just all sit at the table and use the box of markers or the barrel of craft supplies.  Either way they love the time together and I get pretty stuff to admire.
He's a keeper for sure.

On Sunday night when I was getting Keegan ready for his bath I pulled up his shirt and saw a very angry, large rash all over his torso and down his back.  All kinds of scenarios went through my mind.  I called the doctors' office and gave him his bath waiting for them to call back.  Jeff searched the internet and we ruled things out along the way.  The office called back and also ruled out other viruses.  He has had a cough for over a week that I was actually going to call about but no other symptoms.  So we put him to bed and figured we would regroup in the morning.  He woke up around 3am and called for me and I went to help him and realized that the rash was completely gone.  Not a trace of it.
I had him sleep in and went he got up it was still gone.  I checked with the doctor's and they said it was okay to bring him to school.  I dropped him at school because it was school picture day and then went to do errands because I had an appt at 1pm and there was no point in going into the work.  A couple of hours later school called and his rash was back this time on his face and neck.  They said they wanted to give him lunch and have him take his nap and I could pick him up afterwards.  I couldn't get him seen until last night at 6:30.  It turns out the rash was benign and more an indicator of a primary problem.  His chest was pretty chunky and his oxygen saturation levels were 94%.  (I know what this means because of Sammy.)  At that time they diagnosed him with pneumonia.  They also showed me retraction which is when the skin sucks in between the ribs because breathing is so labored. That was something new to look for in the future.  They sent us over to have two chest x-rays taken.  And then decided it wasn't pneumonia but bronchitis.  He is on an antibiotic and an inhaler.  By the time we did all this and went to the pharmacy it was after 9pm when we got home.  He was so cute putting the pedi mask over his face and carefully breathing six times like I asked him to.  He did get to sleep okay and did not wake until morning.
I gave him the inhaler again first thing this morning because he was coughing like crazy.  He seems to be better now and says he can breathe better.  He is allowed to go back to school because it is not contagious but I want him to get some more rest and meds first.  We have a follow up appt tomorrow morning.  If it wasn't for that rash I would not have known about the infection because he did not run a fever or complain at all.  He had just had his ear tube check up on Friday and that doctor did not notice anything unusual. 

Last Friday night Keegan and I reached another milestone. Our first visit to the emergency room. Well more specifically his first and my first as a mother. That's right he is now sporting stitches on his noggin. Inevitable when you have a son I am told. But still really scary and so hard to hear him screaming as they restrained him to put the stitches in. He was so brave the rest of the time. He even helped me hold the towel to his head to stop the bleeding while I put his shoes on. And he was so good while waiting the hours in the ER to be seen. They didn't want me to feed him so he was hungry and up late. But he is on the mend now and due to have them removed Friday morning. And I have stopped obsessively following him around and worrying that he will bump his head again. You give your kids wings and sometimes they don't stick the landing. I remember Tom's family telling me about him needing to be restrained in the ER while he had stitches when he was really young. Like father, like son. They have that same love of adventure.

I went to Selfish Mom's Club last night for the first time since August. We cancelled September (because of Tom), I missed in October and we cancelled November. Needless to say there was a lot to catchup on and I didn't arrive home until midnight. There are new homes, my wedding, new babies that have been born and babies on the way. As well as much debate on whether to throw more babies in the oven or wait or stop at the ones everyone has. I can not even put a value on how important these women have been in my life. Having a support structure is so vital and even more so when you are a parent. I can't think of a single subject that is off limits with them. I had a lengthy conversation with several of them on religion/spirituality and holidays and celebrations and pressure from others about religion and what to pass on to your children. It was a great touchpoint for me to clarify my values and practices.

We reached another milestone last night. We used a babysitter for the first time. Up until now Keegan has only been watched by family members. But we really want to be able to make plans and not have to put people out. In particular on week nights. I am lucky in that one of Keegan's teachers was available. I was concerned about confusion of roles but I talked it out with his lead teacher and she assured me that Keegan would be able to handle it. He knows the assistant teacher well and so there was no problem with the transition at home. She arrived in time to play with him and then help with his bedtime routine. She even brought one of his favorite books from school. He went to sleep and we left for the movies. I guess he popped back up about ten minutes later but she had no problem putting him back down. This morning he asked me if she was still there.
Meanwhile I got to snuggle at the movies with my husband and enjoy myself without a worry. We saw Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell. It was excellent. It is now one of my favorite movies. There wasn't one single thing about it I didn't like. I don't know if it is partially because I really connected with the themes or what, but I loved it. It was funny and heartbreaking and moving and all the stuff that makes a great film.

Gorgeous day, tractor ride, corn maze, pumpkin patch, feeding the animals, wooden pirate ship playground, Keegan onstage with a chicken puppet, his buddies he has known since they were only weeks old. And one very long bath to wash it all off.
He fell asleep on my chest today in my lap on the couch. That is a rare moment in the life of a toddler's mom. Soon he will just be too big.

"Do Parents Matter? Let Us Count the Ways." from Child Trends a non-profit, non-partisan research center.

We all know that peers, the media, early care and education, and schools affect children's development and success. Oftentimes, though, the importance of parents is neglected, or one element of parenting is emphasized to the exclusion of others. How do parents matter?
First is heredity. Scientists and new grandparents alike accept the important role of heredity. Genes have now been confirmed to affect characteristics of children ranging from their eye color and height, to their cognitive abilities and personality. Research hasn't confirmed, though, the notion of a rigid and determined distinction between heredity and environment. Rather, research indicates that genetic dispositions interact continuously with a child's environment to affect his or her development.
Another important role for parents is prenatal care. Proper nutrition, avoiding dangerous substances, rest, and good health and personal care all contribute to a healthy pregnancy. In addition, social support from the father augments the role of economic and health-related influences, and all of these good things are more likely for a planned pregnancy.