This McSweeney's American Psychiatric Asssociation Personals made me laugh so hard I snorted.

If this is me:
"Waiting, with heart wide open"

Claustrophobic female seeks male (age not an issue) with empty 50,000-square-foot warehouse with high ceilings.

This is Jeff:
"Touchy, but in a good way"

Obsessive-compulsive with need to tap exactly four times any lampshade he passes seeks woman with similar interests for frequent checks of stoves and doors. If you're the one, let's get together for a romantic walk without stepping on any cracks.

Go! Read them all!