I have been a little wayward since finishing my grant in that I have not been able to focus at work on larger projects. And I haven't been really excited about anything. I keep longingly wishing I could go to school next year. That is not going to happen for so many reasons. The biggest of which is that I have no idea if I want to do public health or public policy. And either way I would want to go to Harvard and I have neither the time or money for that. So maybe in a few years when Harper is older and our lives are more settled and we can make that sacrifice. In the meantime I need to find that spark to get me back into being energized. I have a couple of things that I am looking into right now. One is creating a project that combines my passion about local food systems and sustainability with my passion about rural health. Another is pursuing an educational opportunity that would not be as much of a commitment as full on PhD work. There may be a chance to do a year long project as part of a team working on primary care solutions through policy change. Or another opportunity I turned down last year to attend UCLA for two weeks as part of a health care finance and management program. Being me means not just having a full plate I like to have a heaping plate of responsibilities. If I'm not juggling like a madwoman I feel a bit lost. Nutty I know but I have come to except that. There is one thing that has inspired me as of late. I would love to be described in this way:

"What Valerie developed is the art of telling people to go to hell and making them look forward to the trip."

It is from an article about one of the Obama's closest advisers. Definitely a woman to serve as a model for others.