about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

view all my recipes

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The Wings We Create

"How did daddy get dead?"
Keegan asked me right before lunch today. We had been watching TV and as we flipped the channels some actor was talking about putting a bag on his head and jumping in the water during filming. Keegan heard the bag over the head part and I launched into how dangerous that is. You could die. And then he asked.

I explained that Tom was sick, well, really that his body already had something wrong and when he got sick he died from it. I told him the name of the disease, Addison's. He asked if it was in his stomach and I said that it was all over his body. He scrunched his face and said," All over? Yucky." Then he wanted to know where his daddy is. And I always knew this would be a tough one. And I wished I had a belief in heaven to fall back on because that seems an easier concept to explain to a child. So I said he was out of his body. That when you are dead you don't need a body. Your spirit is energy, like light and it is everywhere. I told him that daddy's body was turned into dust and we had put him in places that he loved. I told him that I had taken him to Alaska. Keegan wanted to see the dust. So I brought him up to the computer and showed him the helicopter, the glacier and the place with Tom's ashes. He was mesmerized. I asked if he would like to help sprinkle the last part of his daddy in Vermont. And he said yes. Then I gave him the rock I had brought back for him from the glacier. And he brought it to his room and put it on his headboard. After he ate lunch and was tucked in I sat on the couch and replayed what I had said. It was a surreal conversation. I couldn't believe it even while it was happening. It was a conversation I thought wouldn't happen for a while longer. But here we are home on a random day and there it was. And if I know him like I think I do, he will ask to see the pictures many more times and he will ask questions. And he will explain it all to his bear Manny the same way I explained to him. And he will do it matter of factly and with the certainty only a child has.

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Comments

Wow. You are both too amazing for words-you, for being able to explain it in a way that makes sense...and Keegan-for comprehending it and taking it all in the way he does.

I think it's amazing how hard you work to keep Tom's memory alive for your son.

Shared by Allie at June 8, 2007 9:55 PM

What a great job. Even if you don't have a "belief in heavaen to fall back" on you certainly had an amazing explanation. He will grow up feeling like his father is never very far away.

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You know, the way you explain things to Keegan... it's just beautiful.

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