about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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Big Ole Jet Airliner

I am still working on the best approach with Keegan on how to tell him about business travel. Telling him too far in advance is not good because then he has time to get worked up. Telling the day of doesn't work because it ruins our transitions between home and school. I also get a lot of questions that are endless because for every answer there is another question. His anxiety seems to get better the more I travel because he is fine while I am gone and he knows that I come back. This was never an issue last year because he was with Tom and not in our house without me. Also there is a sensitivity for him around me leaving because he connects that with the loss of Tom.
I think that mommy guilt is just in everything we do. My stay at home friends feel bad because they could be doing more for their kids and around the house. My friends with nannies feel bad because they have the freedom to do errands while someone else watches their child. My part time working friends feel guilty asking their partners for help juggling everything. My work outside the home friends feel guilty about work obligations that cut into their family time. I am only saying "mommy" here but I am sure it is the case for daddies too. It's a common concern I know. And yet on the same page I don't feel I need to justify anything. We have made the right choices for our family as a family. And I certainly do not get anything but support from Jeff.
Last night before bed I told Keegan I was taking another airplane trip today.
K:Why mommy?
Me: For work.
K: Okay. But you will come back.
K: Daddy is not on an airplane.
Me: No he is not.
K: He's gone.

It's been six months and he is still better at this than I am.

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