Today was a good day for Keegan and I. A Selfish Mom club mom came by earlier and brought us a lasagna, garlic bread and her son to play. Jeff headed back to Maine with Isabelle to take care of some things at his house and drop her off. He should be home by 9pm. Keegan had mentioned wanting a haircut yesterday while we were at gymnastics. Since he has always been afraid I figured I'd better take him up on it. So we headed to the local walk-in haircut place. He was amazing perched on the booster wearing an animal print cape and staying perfectly still through the clippers and scissors. Tom would have been so proud and it was hard not to call him. Keegan and I celebrated by going to the bookstore and choosing three new books. I looked at some helping children cope with grief books but they were all so complicated. He has been talking about Tom and we have talked about memories. He finally took a nap today and went to sleep telling me he was looking at the pictures I put of him with Tom on his shelves. He loves the one of me, Tom and him as a baby. The rest of the day was without the meltdowns that have been an every hour event the past few days. We played together and he helped me take the dogs out and feed them supper. He asked to stay downstairs with the dogs which he has never done before. Usually they bowl him over. But he was gentle and they were gentle back and I had to retreive him for supper. He keeps telling me that I don't have to be sad. This is the first day I haven't cried alot. I have not cried in front of him at all the past few days. But kids are smart. I told him it's okay for both of us to be sad sometimes because we love daddy. Tonight at snuggle time on the couch he reached over and took my hand. And once again I silently thanked Tom for giving this magical boy.