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Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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A Year In The Life

This week it will have been a year since I moved. When I wrote about it.
"Honestly, most of the aspects of parenting have not changed for me. Except for not having Tom's company in the evenings before he went downstairs, and not being able to share new Keegan adventures in the moment with him, my responsibilities are the same. But I am proud of the fact that I am building a life for us. I am proud of the home that I am providing my son. I am proud that Tom and I don't argue in front of Keegan or use him as a pawn in own relationship negotiations. I want to walk out of this knowing that I was true to who I am as a person and not have regrets about behaviors that are not indicative of my character. That thought enables me to make choices about how I respond to stress and to help guide us through the divorce process. There is sadness, there is frustration, but there are bright shining moments too."

All of this is still true today. I will never again underestimate the good feeling of being able to pay all of my bills. To live completely alone while supporting and nuturing my child. To create a new routine and a new life for myself. To look back at even the bad moments with pride. I made plans last year and made decisions based on the idea that I would be alone for several years. That is ultimately not how it is going to happen. I am so fortunate to have had the right person at a time when I was truly okay as a person and ready to have a healthy relationship. So I will be not be traveling alone much longer. But I will always know that I did it and that knowledge gives me the strength to seek other opportunities professionally and personally. I hope this past year I kept my personal pledge of letting my friends and family know how important they are and how much I value their support. I have been amazed at how much that has allowed me to rise above. And in the past year I had to learn to not be so fiercely independent and to let others do for me because they truly wanted to. Tom and I continue to co-parent in a way that is beneficial to Keegan. We communicate in a respectful, no confrontational way and try to include the other in all aspects of Keegan's world as appropriate. I have been surprised at how we have grown to honor each other's time with Keegan. And I think our families are learning to accept that this divorce might be an okay thing. I am in better shape and able to keep up with Keegan. And in the midst of it all I have been able to challenge myself professionally and educationally too. What started as the hardest year of my life has ended as one of my best. There are still things I wish for. But I have to remember that some people are not in a place where they are ready to accept responsibility and acknowledge their mistakes. They may never be. It is truly awesome how love can inspire forgiveness.

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