about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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I Can Bend But Not Break

We are getting settled into our new routine although not much unpacking has occurred this week. Keegan is still at his old daycare so Tom picks him up and drives him down in the morning. I go down, pick him up and drive him back up in the evening. So we still don't get home until around 5:30 which means dinner and then some play until bedtime routine. Tom definitely has the shorter end of that stick because the whole morning commute now takes him almost two hours when he only lives 20 minutes away from his work. Keegan will start at his new program next week and then we can establish a more consistent schedule.

I still wake up in the morning with no idea where I am for a minute. I wonder how long it will take before it feels truly like home. Hopefully this weekend I can get more put away and it will feel less transitional. I want to get Keegan's room done first and then the kitchen.
I had forgotten how expensive moving and a new home can be. There are so many costs associated with just setting up house. I spent $260 the other evening ordering all the safety stuff to protect Keegan from the two flights of stairs and the gas stove. He is so silly running around and seems excited. I know that he was happy to recognize his furniture in the new environment.
Honestly, most of the aspects of parenting have not changed for me. Except for not having Tom's company in the evenings before he went downstairs, and not being able to share new Keegan adventures in the moment with him, my responsibilities are the same. But I am proud of the fact that I am building a life for us. I am proud of the home that I am providing my son. I am proud that Tom and I don't argue in front of Keegan or use him as a pawn in own relationship negotiations. I want to walk out of this knowing that I was true to who I am as a person and not have regrets about behaviors that are not indicative of my character. That thought enables me to make choices about how I respond to stress and to help guide us through the divorce process. There is sadness, there is frustration, but there are bright shining moments too.

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