Selling the house this week has really helped Tom and I push forward. Even with all the planning up to this time, it still didn't feel quite real. It probably won't feel completely real until we are out in our own homes. But we've spent these last four months navigating our new relationship with each other and as Keegan's parents. The other evening we were both playing on the floor with Keegan and I wasn't sad like I usually am when I see a typical family image. This is the truth of who we are now. Keegan is loved and that influences everything.
Tom and I had a good talk about our immediate plans and getting the divorce proceedings moving along again. We will sit down and talk through the agreement before filing. The hope is that we'll be able to walk into court with almost everything settled. The hope is that we can continue being reasonable in our discussions and remember that once we loved each other very much. He is wonderful with Keegan and so obviously adores being with him. Slowly we've started crafting a schedule to spend time with Keegan and also have time to pursue a life for ourselves. It feels so good to be able to get along with Tom and remember the good things about him as a person. I believe that he truly wants me to be happy and I feel the same for him. We'll have our struggles but I feel hopeful that for the most part we'll try to be on the same page.
My marriage really ended over a year and a half ago but I couldn't let it go without trying everything. I was committed to finding a way back to forever. But four months ago when I asked for it to end I did so with a clear conscience. I did my best and here we are. In my heart, mind and soul we are no longer married. I've let him go and he has let me go. We're all going to be okay.