about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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It's Over

Last year in New Hampshire 4.3 per every 1,000 peoples' marriages ended in divorce. This year mine will be one of them.

Those of you who know me already had an idea this was coming. It is a decision I don't take lightly and I agonized over it. I take my wedding vows very seriously. I also know that I did everything I could to prevent it, but it is going to happen anyway. Ultimately people deserve to be happy.

My biggest sadness and joy is for Keegan. I certainly did not bring him into this world knowing we wouldn't make it. It breaks my heart that he isn't going to have the family I dreamed of. But we are incredibly grateful to have him in our lives. The love we have for him and our desire to be the best for him will help guide all of the plans we are making.

I think I have written this post in my head a hundred times and I still don't know what to say. Sometimes I can't believe it is really happening. But I need to accept it and continue on. I fully expect to experience all of the stages of grief and it is hard to imagine a time when I won't feel like my heart has been ripped out of my body.

This is a time in your life when you rely heavily on your friends and family. I am fortunate to have incredible ones. I am sure there will be many times when I am curled up in a corner and need a hand to help me up. I also keep reminding myself that I am always stronger than I think I am.

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