about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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Germ Warfare

I am really having guilt issues. Specifically with daycare. I think it is a great facility and Keegan definitely likes it there. But the place is a germ farm. Not that it is my center specifically but all centers. Keegan has been sick since the day he started. Every time we conquer something, he gets something else. We had finally turned the corner on both the cold and the ear infection. Then yesterday I picked him up tired but not cranky. He proceeded to refuse dinner and then just cry and fuss. He wouldn't even take a bottle. I thought maybe it was teething or over tiredness. But he couldn't settle down at all even in my lap, which always works. I finally had to walk around with him to get him to sleep, but as soon as I stopped he would wake up and cry. This went on the enitre evening with Tom and I switching off. Then I got ready for bed and brought Keegan with me. He woke up every half hour until 1 am. Then he agreed to drink two ounces and went back to sleep. He continued to wake up and be restless but atleast he didn't cry. Tom and I decided to send him to daycare today because he didn't have any other symptoms except a runny nose. Sure enough at 10:45 they called me at work to say that his temp was almost 101 and that we should come get him. I sent Tom to get him and made an appointment to take him to the doctor later.
There are so many factors here. I don't want Keegan to be sick all the time. I am completely fried because I don't get break in the evenings or any decent sleep. I am brand new at work and so far feel exhausted and bad about needing to take time every week to care for a sick child. But I can't not work. I know that getting sick is something that happens when your child is exposed to other children. And I know that eventually he will build up his immune system. At this point I feel overwhelmed and guilty. And I feel especially stupid because I almost cried at work just thinking about the situation. Luckily I face my cube wall and I was able to pull it together before the tears came. And deep inside is that little voice blaming me for not breastfeeding for a year. My mommy confidence level this week is down in the dumps.

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