Today was supposed to be Keegan's due date. 40 weeks ago (well really 38 because of the extra two they add on) he started growing in a petri dish. Then they put him inside me two days later and he stuck in there. I look at him now when I am nursing and tell myself, "I can't believe we made you."

I was looking through my creative writing journal and found the following entry. It was written exactly a year ago.

Sitting at the edge of the dock
Wood weathered and worn, smooth and gray
See my feet skimming the edge of the lake
"I'm Not Really A Waitress Red" toes in the teal waves
So cool in contrast to my skin, warm from drinking in the sun
My back to the world, almost alone in my blue peace

Never alone since he came into my life
Connected to him through the water
The energy of me reaching to where his hand hangs off the sunkissed orange raft
Seeing him launch into the deep
Body quick-slippery as a fish
He surfaces just as I begin to worry

My heart won't listen as my mind says he's a strong swimmer
He loves the water, since he could crawl he has been drawn to it
He shares that with me, water makes me feel alive

Drops clinging to his eyelashes, his brown hair pushed back off his forehead
Bright faced, honeysuckle blossom skin
He always seems to glow
I continue to watch him under the brim of my straw hat
Until he catches me
His father's smile spreads across his face, makes my heart skip
And calls out, "Mom come swim with me."