about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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Helpless

Oops. Can't sleep yet. I popped over to Erika's and read these posts. I know I have the hormonal excuse but thinking about what she wrote makes me cry. I am sad because we used to face the stuff with the kids together. And now she's on her own. And sad because if you could see her in action you'd be sure she deserved a medal. Sad because hearing her thoughts in my head I know exactly how she feels. You love the work and you love the kids. But doing the work takes an emotional toll. I feel guilty because inside I am relieved to not have to be in the thick of it right now. That in the middle of all that pain and need I have the luxury of living inside my little world. Guilty because I know I should be out there doing what I can. Because I can. Because for some reason I was given the ability to be at my best when everything around me is at it's worse. It seems selfish to not be using that ability and not be using the skills I acquired over the past 6 years. I thought it was the paycheck I missed and the feeling of daily purpose. But let's face it, when it comes to being needed I am a junkie. That is why I miss work. I miss being there when the kids needed me, and when the staff needed something in a way only I could deliver. But life went on for all of them. And to be honest it did for me too. But I miss them. And sometimes it easier to not be there at all. And I know that now Erika is wrestling with the same thing.

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