I do my best crying in the shower.
I remember a few days after the embryo transfer I stood in the shower and cried. That was out of happiness. I told myself that no matter what happened it was worth it. Worth it for the chance. Worth it because for atleast one moment I had an embryo growing inside me. I had potential.
I took a shower about a half hour ago. It is so humid and I have felt so crappy the past two days. I've never been weepy and hormonal before. But then I have never been pregnant before either. So I stood in the shower and cried. Cried because I am so tired. And I am so tired of being tired from the minute I wake up until I absolutely die into bed at night. And I feel guilty because there are thousands of women who would give anything to be in my place. Up until 12 weeks ago I was one of those women. But today right now I am sad. And I am crying while writing this. But this is how I feel and it is real. And tomorrow I hope to wake up and be back to me.
http://www.fillorburst.com/mt-tb.cgi/315
my heart goes out to you, Alisa!
{{{{big hugs}}}} hope things look up soon.
Oh, I remember feeling like that too! I would just cry and cry and yes, I even entertained the occasional "bad" thought. It's all completely normal. Once you turn that first trimester corner you are going to feel fab and wonderful and not so tired! I promise!
I was sad throughout my pregnancy with Noah. I had had two miscarriages before him and I knew that part of my depression was anxiety but I think most of it was hormones. And I felt so awful because I was very grateful but oh so sad! I used to sit in a rocking chair and listen to Jane Siberry CDs and lullabies and just sob. Wish I could give you a non-virtual hug.
Aren't hormones fun? Don't feel guilty, Alisa! It's people like you who give people like me hope that it can work and that my turn is coming soon. I hope today is a happy one!
**HUG** it's rough feeling like this, isn't it? I've wanted to be a mom for so long, and was so looking forward to being pregnant, but now that I am I'm feeling miserable! It's normal though, which is a little comfort.......
Oh, don't feel a tad guilty, darlin. Even though this is what you've wanted so much for so long and now you've finally been gifted with it, doesn't change the fact that it's an ENORMOUS emotional and life change. Don't be too hard on yourself. It can (and will!) be difficult, so don't sell yourself short. You're going to do great! hugs hugs hugs hugs!!