about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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Today

I do my best crying in the shower.
I remember a few days after the embryo transfer I stood in the shower and cried. That was out of happiness. I told myself that no matter what happened it was worth it. Worth it for the chance. Worth it because for atleast one moment I had an embryo growing inside me. I had potential.

I took a shower about a half hour ago. It is so humid and I have felt so crappy the past two days. I've never been weepy and hormonal before. But then I have never been pregnant before either. So I stood in the shower and cried. Cried because I am so tired. And I am so tired of being tired from the minute I wake up until I absolutely die into bed at night. And I feel guilty because there are thousands of women who would give anything to be in my place. Up until 12 weeks ago I was one of those women. But today right now I am sad. And I am crying while writing this. But this is how I feel and it is real. And tomorrow I hope to wake up and be back to me.

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