about
Alisa. 37. New Hampshire. Married for almost three years to this wonderful, funny, smart guy. Previously married. Went through in-vitro fertilization to have my five year old magical son Keegan. Stepmother to the charming Isabelle (6). Gushingly in love with our baby boy Harper(1). Policy Wonk and dreaded bureaucrat. Lover of fine cuisine, honeybees, truly romantic moments and the underdog.
cooking
Curried Beef Short Ribs

Note: I found this was more realistically four servings.

Finishing this dish with lime zest and juice brightens its rich flavors.

Yield 6 servings (serving size: about 3 ounces ribs, 2/3 cup rice, and about 2 1/2 tablespoons sauce)

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 pounds ...continue reading

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Inside Story

This is the first time I have been near the computer since Fri. I really needed a break to deal with everything.
No bad news or anything. On Sat. we had to leave at 6am to get up to Dartmouth. They transferred two embryos. That was our original decision on the number we wanted this try. I was expecting the transfer to be pretty simple. The procedure itself was but the whole thing was very difficult for me. We got our fertilization report right beforehand. I think that brought me down some. Of the 15 eggs harvested only 5 made it to cell division. The others were either too immature, didn't fertilize or didn't make it through the ICSI process. That day one of the other eggs degenerated. So we had two implanted and two frozen. The two implanted were given grades of B and B-. So typical of me that I was expecting A's. We joked that it was Tom's influence, they had potential but just needed to buckle down and focus. The good news is that 3 of the 4 that made did so through regular insemination. That means that Tom's sperm were able to get the job done on their own. This bodes well for the future.
They couldn't see my uterus during the procedure and decided that my bladder needed to be filled using a catheter. I think that the 32oz. I did drink hit me at the same time. The worst part was the ultrasound tech who really had to dig into me to get a good picture. My already sore ovaries were killing me. Poor Tom got my nails dug into him the whole time. I don't feel too dramatic saying it was agony. The hardest thing was that I had really wanted to enjoy that moment. To enjoy the thought that they were putting my embryos inside. That at that moment I was the closest I had ever been to being pregnant. If I had only been prepared for it I know I would have been able to handle it better. Afterwards I had to lay still for thirty minutes.
I spent the rest of Sat. laying down with Tom waiting on me. Yesterday I moved around some. I feel like such a bum doing nothing. They don't even know if there is a correlation between bedrest and positive results. But I'm not taking any chances. I am bored out of my skull too. Now there is the waiting and the not knowing. We already have a plan for what happens if we get a negative result. I tell you now I have no idea how women do this more than once. The whole cycle was so much more than I imagined it would be. Of course it will be worth it. But it's hard to cling to that when you cry at the drop of a hat and want something more than you've ever wanted anything before.

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